Is Michael Vick the Devil?

I'm not quite certain that I understand, so maybe you can help me out.

Correct me if I'm wrong -- but it was my understanding that the point of incarceration was to remove a criminal from society, thus providing the opportunity for one to reflect on the crimes perpetrated (and as punishment for said actions).

Again, correct me if I'm wrong -- but this is what happened with Michael Vick. He committed an admittedly HEINOUS crime and served 2 years as punishment, in addition to the hundreds of millions in lost salary & endorsements. He had to file for bankruptcy protection as his liquid assets were quickly wiped out. He missed valuable time with his young children, even missing the birth of his youngest daughter. He must live daily with the fact that he allowed something unconscionable to happen on his watch, nearly losing everything that he had in the process. So why was this not enough?

The man hasn't played in the NFL in 3 years but there are some who feel that this is not punishment enough. When the Eagles announced yesterday that they'd signed him, the reaction was so mixed... some immediately sold their season tix online, while some were frothing at the mouth just thinking about the offensive nightmare the Birds could become.

There are some that will never give him a chance to prove that he's learned from his mistakes and that he can become an example for others. The man isn't even 30 years old -- he has PLENTY of time to make things right. Speaking of making things right, I'm further confused by the fact that Donte Stallworth did not generate a fraction of the outrage expressed toward Michael Vick. Let's look at the "tale of the tape" shall we?

Michael Vick
Crime: Financing a vicious dogfighting ring, conducted at a residence that he owned.

Punishment: Two year jail sentence & concurrent NFL suspension, expected to extend into October. Not allowed to own dogs anymore.

Public Reaction: Extreme outrage, to the extent that some would have him killed in the same manner as the dogs.

Donte Stallworth
Crime: Got high & drunk while out partying one night. Drove his luxury car down a busy street and plowed into a motorist, killing him.

Punishment: Thirty day jail sentence & 1 year NFL suspension. Never allowed to drive again. Also made settlement with family as part of his plea.

Public Reaction: Has there been any? This got nowhere near the airtime & scrutiny that Vick got the day the Eagles signed him, let alone since the incident first happened.

And don't even get me started on Rick Pitino...

Sure, the public reacted to Stallworth -- but can anyone in their right mind say that it even compares to Vick? Vick's actions led to the deaths of scores of dogs, while Stallworth got high/drunk and killed a human being. Unless we're giving Stallworth a pass for being inebriated, I just don't get it. Human beings will always come before dogs on my hierarchy, no matter how you slice it. Who would you rather your daughter bring home: a dogfighter or a serial rapist? Again, I'm not saying that it's okay, but I feel like it needs to be put into perspective a bit. Dogfighting is cruel, but deer hunting for sport is even worse in my opinion. Killing those innocent animals just to put a new head on your wall? I guess killing is perfectly moral when you have a license for it.

I'm not saying that Vick is an angel -- I know he screwed up BIG TIME and committed a DEPLORABLE act... but much like a man who has cheated on his wife, he is asking for a second chance. He has paid his debt to society and is looking to become a productive member again. I just ask that we give the man a chance to make good on his promise. Now if he pulls an Adam "Pacman" Jones and relapses by even so much LOOKING at a dog twice, we can revisit this topic... At that point, I can assure you that my post would be short & sweet:

THROW THE FUCKING BOOK AT HIM.

Random Song of the Week: 8/9/09

I'm a year older!

Yes, yes... your favorite non-average male blogger just celebrated a birthday -- by having one of the longest 4-day work weeks known to mankind. If not for one of my best friends coming up to Philly this weekend, I would have nothing to motivate me through it.

Anyway, I was in the mood to cool out again this week... so I present to you my song of the week for 8/9: "Let's Groove" by Earth, Wind & Fire.

Enjoy... and I challenge you to NOT nod your head & sing along!

Inappropriate

This is just inexcusable.

OK! Weekly magazine decided to use a close-up photo of MJ being attended to by medical personnel in what would be his final moments.

To say that I'm disturbed would be an understatement. MJ or not, I really don't think this was appropriate by any measure. As inappropriate as I think this celebration was, this magazine cover really took the cake... then again, I don't even want to get started on NY politician Peter King. It's only a matter of time before his dirty laundry is aired -- after all, he is a politician. Politicians without skeletons in their closets are like baseball players without steroids: presumed to be the minority. I'd love to hear what he has to say when the shoe is on the other foot.

I understand that his passing was tragic and that he meant a lot to so many (which some of us didn't realize until it was too late), but this is sensationalism beyond comprehension.

The link is below, if you so dare to click. If so, I'd love to get your opinion; if not, I'm sure that I've given you enough information to opine anyway.

WARNING: This link says it all...

MJ versus Jesus?

Don't intend to create controversy, but I had to share something...

I was listening to Charlemagne this morning (formerly of Wendy Williams' radio show in NYC, now the host of the morning show on 100.3 The Beat here in Philly) and he brought up an interesting conversation he'd had last night on Twitter with some guy who made a VERY bold statement:

MJ is more popular than Jesus.

Now, that may initially sound blasphemous to any religious folks reading this; however, he immediately proceeded to put his comment into its proper context. What he meant was that in today's society, MJ was relevant to more people than Jesus is. He pointed to a recent study that was done with high school freshmen, in which they were shown pictures of MJ and Jesus. Practically every one of them said that they recognized MJ. Jesus? Didn't fare quite as well.

I will readily admit that there are some flaws with the study (e.g., is there such a thing as a true "picture" of Jesus? As far as I can tell, there are only artistic representations of him -- so who knows how those kids "saw" Jesus in their heads?) Nevertheless, I found it all quite interesting... so when he asked for listeners' opinions, I was the first one to call and speak to him on air.

The whole thing coincidentally reminded me of a convo that I'd had on Friday with a co-worker, the gist of which I recanted to him. She was upset that more people seemed to be mourning and/or reporting on MJ's death than Pope John Paul II. I remarked first that the Pope was VERY old and sickly for quite some time -- so people "saw" it coming; meanwhile, MJ just dropped dead at 50. Additionally, not everybody is a Christian/Catholic/etc. that views the Pope as an important figure in the same regard as those of that religious orientation.

There are plenty of Muslims, Jews, atheists, agnostics, etc. to whom the Pope was no more than a little guy with a BIG hat; meanwhile, MJ's music touched people in all countries, of all colors, creeds, sizes, shapes, origins, etc. MJ had today's thugs in red jackets and white socks not so long ago. From bums to billionaires, MJ has reached more kinds of people than any of us could ever dare count in our lifetime -- and will more than likely continue to do so for some years to come. As for the Pope? Honestly, I don't even know the current one's name. As the young kids say, that's "real talk."

Now, don't even get me started on the commercial nature of the J-man's b-day. Most kids don't (and may never) know what Christmas is supposed to observe. They think it's about snow, trees, dinner and presents -- and probably think the pope is what their grandfathers puff on every night in the family room. While I admit that I observe it as a day for family & friends to spend precious time together, I would argue that Christmas is just as commercial a holiday as Valentine's Day.

For those that believe in him, Jesus is most certainly as important as anyone or anything comes -- but MJ is probably more widely known and/or recognizable. Mind you, there is a big difference in connotation, relative to popularity... I mean, people don't pray to MJ -- although I guess it could be argued that some worshipped him, what with all the fainting & such. I'd be willing to bet that someone in Sri Lanka is doing the "Thriller" dance in the living room as we speak... and that nobody is practicing their Pope Wave™.

At the end of the day, I think that I agree with the guy: I think that MJ is more popular/recognizable (just look at the posts he's inspired me to create) than Jesus -- but that is not to be confused with "important", "enduring" or anything like it. I acknowledge that organized religion is a powerful force in society and will not go away any time soon, considering that it has survived 2 millenia (ed. note: why does everyone call Buddhism a religion? It's more accurately described as a "way of life" than anything). I respect the religious convictions of others and would never say intentionally disrespect things; nevertheless, I feel like MJ's reach extended beyond religious & cultural boundaries -- and that's what made him more recognizable.

For now, anyway...

Your thoughts?

The Death of a Legend

Disclaimer: This blog is solely my opinion/sentiment. If you have a problem with it, then click the back arrow at the top of your browser.


It has taken me 24 hours to be able to form a coherent thought. I still don't want to believe the news, although it is splattered all over the TV and internet. Although we know that everyone is mortal, nothing can prepare you for premature departure. As sad as I was to learn that Farrah Fawcett had succombed to her years-long battle with cancer, it paled in comparison to the feeling that I would soon have in the pit of my stomach mere hours later.

One of the absolute greatest musicians of all time passed away on June 25, 2009 at 2:26pm PST. Michael Joseph Jackson. MJ. The King of Pop. He was only 50 years old.

Despite only living to the age of 50, MJ was able to give us 45 years of entertainment. He was robbed of the typical American childhood so that he might be able to provide us with some of the most breathtaking, spectacular music & dancing that many of us had ever heard or seen. My first musical memories involve the best-selling album of all time, "Thriller." There was little that this man could do musically that did not inspire me. I challenge you to search the internet for his lyrics and really take a good look. You will find much inspiration and creativity -- something that is sorely lacking in today's music scene. Whenever I was asked the once ultimate question (MJ or Prince?), I always had the same answer... MJ all day.

Some people out there are actually pleased or indifferent to the fact that he has passed away. I can understand if you felt no connection to the man, but to cheer his death? That is one of the sickest things imaginable. That was someone's father, brother, cousin, son, nephew and hero. There is no reason to spread such vile, negative, virulent filth on such a somber occasion. As the old saying goes, "if you don't have anything good to say, then don't say anything at all." So many are trying to chastise those of us who mourn. Your beliefs are exactly that -- yours. Do not tell me who to mourn or how. I lament the loss of the biggest musician of my lifetime and make no apologies for it. If your family member were to pass and the public had a similar reaction, you'd be sickened to your very core.

Michael was obviously what I like to call "psychologically underdeveloped" for a man of his age. He spent his childhood staring at other kids through the window instead of playing like a normal 5 year-old. He never got to go to school with "normal" kids and experience "normal" life. He seemed to overcompensate for this later in life, as evidenced by his "Peter Pan" mentality. He was a caring, thoughtful person who generated millions upon millions of dollars for charitable causes. He wanted to give kids the love & support that he never received as a child. Although I acknowledge that he went too far by allowing them to sleep in his bed, I truly believe that his intentions were not what the media would have us believe, and that the stress & shock of a world turning against him truly hurt him. He never seemed to recover fully from the initial backlash.

As a somewhat rational person, I can certainly admit that he continued to make mistakes later (dangling baby, future molestation accusations, etc) -- but I still do not believe that the man had a malicious bone in his body. I think that Michael truly cared for this world and wanted nothing more than to heal it...

So Michael, I say this to you: like millions of people before me (and hopefully after), I love you. I love your music, message, humility and creativity. I can only hope that in death, you are given the respect & love that you so lacked & desired in life. My only regret is that I was never able to see you live. I just knew the folks in England were in for a real treat next month.

R.I.P., Michael.

You will forever be missed -- but your music will never be forgotten.

Question...

I got into a car accident last Wednesday around 11pm, on my way home from my part-time job. I wasn't hurt at all, but my car was -- to the point that I had to escape from the passenger side. I can honestly now say that I love oversized American cars, because I truly believe that the girth of my beloved vessel is what protected me from serious injury. Since I'm sure you all REALLY want to know how it all went down, allow me to illustrate in most unnecessary fashion:

So, I'm sitting completely still at a red light -- grooving to the smooth tunes of John Legend and minding my business -- when suddenly...

BAM!!!

This Chevy SUT (Sports Utility Truck) slams into the front quarter panel on my driver's side. I saw it happening... I even thought to myself "Self: that chap is turning AWFULLY wide right now -- does he realize how close he is to... OH SHHHHHHH"

Or something to that effect. Honked my horn quite vigorously, but that just didn't seem to alert him to the impending collision. Naturally, my mortal limitations wouldn't have allowed me to do much more than I had (ed. note: Nothing like a shiny set of headlights coming directly at you to make you find religion... momentarily). I wish that I could illustrate the manner in which his mechanical behemoth of a truck bulldozed my little schooner of a car. To say that his right turn was lacking something would be a veritable understatement. It was more like veering onto a non-existent off-ramp than an actual right turn.
I guess some people just don't like John Legend.

I couldn't open my door at all, and had to climb out the passenger side. No injury, save for the brief discomfort in my ribcage that was likely caused by tensing my abdominal muscles while bracing for impact. My hood, fender, headlight, front quarter panel and door all need to be repaired and/or replaced -- at minimum... and who knows what internal damage was done? Then again, I suppose that the same could be said for me! Making things even more thrilling was the fact that I had to leave early the next day to get an iridotomy on my right eye. Oh, what fun!

So, I finally get the call from the body shop regarding the estimated repairs and... ouch -- $5,500. Not sexy at all. I'm almost surprised that they're even going to bother fixing it. Fortunately, this is why I pay $124 every month for car insurance. My "good neighbor" will be paying for my repairs, and subsequently pursuing the offender's insurance carrier for remuneration (aka subrogation).

So here's the question: to sue or not to sue?

Several parties have advised that I seek medical attention and proceed to sue the responsible party. Granted, his insurance could likely settle matters expeditiously and cut me a check -- but why? Should I sue if I (seemingly) wasn't hurt? His insurance will fix my car and likely reimburse me for what was spent out of pocket on the rental... so why sue? I'm not the most religious guy around, but I do put some credence in karma -- and I'm not talking about Ludacris' daughter.

We've become a "sue first, ask questions later" nation, and it's a little disheartening. If my judgment were to exceed the liability limits of his insurance policy, his personal property would then be at stake. His car, house and other personal effects could become involved. Perhaps even garnished wages? I'm no legal expert, but after several years in the auto insurance industry, I'm fully aware that a large settlement could literally destroy this guy's life.

So the real question is: why didn't I just go to whocanisue.com instead of asking you people?

Oh, yes -- because I have a heart. If you don't like it, then sue me.

The Aftermath

It was extremely quiet in the office today. So quiet that people could probably hear my thoughts... and why is that? Because many people are admittedly angry that McCain lost. It's actually a bit incredulous.

What's more incredulous is a bit of commentary by a CNN analyst. To paraphrase: African-Americans don't have anything to complain about anymore... really? I'm glad that I didn't catch it live, because the rageaholic in me would've reacted poorly in that heightened state of emotion. I think it's utterly preposterous to say such a thing. That guy obviously doesn't know what it feels like to think that you got turned down for a job or rejected by a girl because of the color of your skin. He doesn't know how it feels to know that the person that you're walking behind is scared to death because he/she thinks you might try something. He's never been pulled over for DWB... and although I cannot directly relate to this aspect (since my family just got here in the late 70s/early 80s), he doesn't know what it's like to hear stories from your grandparents about the beatings, water hoses, marches, segregated bathrooms and general refusal of the "man" to treat you as anything but the crud in the grooves of his insole.

And this was barely 40 years ago. It's still as fresh for the older generations as a crispy new $1 bill.

Obama will not change everything in 4-8 years... but his election is a sign of promise. It shows that America in general is willing to change. Blacks are only 12-13% of the population, but a man of biracial decent was still elected to the presidency of this nation -- which means a lot of people with blue & green eyes pushed that button next to his name. If you looked at the crowds during the speeches last night, you surely noticed the MARKED difference in the racial composition... about as different as a Tim McGraw concert from Lil Wayne's live performances.

I hope that the entire nation follows their lead and sets aside partisan conflict long enough to address some of our most pressing needs. Health care, economy, war in Iraq, immigration, housing/credit crises, etc. That should be the focus... not whether Barack is a Muslim (he's not, morons!), whether his ex-pastor is an idiot (he is -- we agree!) or any other insignificant topics. Like it or not, he's been tapped to serve next and he's standing in the on-deck circle. Let's get behind him and maybe -- just maybe -- we'll see the beginnings of a return to greatness.

So Tired

I know, I know -- where the hell have I been? I can't tell you how many times I've actually had some semblance of something to say, but just didn't have the energy or desire to sit in front of my PC long enough to express them to you. You see, here's the problem: I have 2 jobs now and I barely have enough time to call my own mama.

My main job is that of an underwriter. Essentially, I spend the entire day analyzing claims, monitoring trends, evaluating risk, running data through formulas and generally being bored to death. It's not the sexiest job in the world, but it certainly pays the bills -- I mean, I've never loved OT so much as I do right now -- and it's a pretty stable gig. The two promotions that I've received in the last 8 months have certainly been a huge morale boost. I got tired of selling insurance, so working this industry in a different capacity has been a fantastic change of pace. Unfortunately, I do not see a great deal of room to grow beyond my current position and will have to re-evaluate my career path if I choose to remain with my current employer. I've always had an EXTREME love affair with linguistics, and that's something that I'd like to revisit in the near future.

My part-time gig finds me at one of those big home improvement places, in the simplest of roles -- as a cashier. I don't have to sell a damn thing, I just have to know how to ring the shit up... and considering I spend the entire day using actuarially-driven factors and formulas to predict risk & estimate future medical and dental insurance costs -- well, ringing up wood & bricks just doesn't feel so hard. Now, I know what you're probably thinking: "Man, that shit is awesome! You probably get a sick discount for all your household needs!" Well to you, I quote the great Charlie Murphy by saying this: "WRONG! WRONG!!"

I get no discount of any sort. While I was initially pissed, I realized that this is a good thing because I will not blow my extra paycheck on storm doors and bathtubs. Instead, I will pay extra on my bills and put extra in my savings account -- which was the reason I got the job in the first place. The only drawback is that I don't know how much longer my mind & body can sustain the 65-hr work weeks. This shit was cool 5 years ago, but now I'm about ready to pull out my own spleen and feed it to myself. Continuing the promotion trend, they seem to want to promote me to head cashier after only 3+ months. We'll see how it goes...

All in all, I'm doing just fine. My bank account is no longer bulimic and I've been able to perform a few home improvement projects on my own (man, I wish you could experience the greatness that is my new shower head). Can't really complain about a little forward progress, now can I?

Now if the Phillies would just hurry up and win this damn championship, everything would just be peachy.

Peek-a-boo!

How on Earth have you all been? I feel like I've been gone for years! I've been busier than a hooker on payday and just haven't had much time to post. Unfortunately, I bit the bullet and picked up a second gig. I know what you're thinking -- "WTF?!?!?" Yeah, so am I. I work many 14-15 hour days, raise my dog for about 15-20 minutes and sleep for about 25 seconds per night (Ed: That's a Dave Chappelle reference, in case you've not had the pleasure of watching "For What It's Worth"). Basically, I just figured it was time to buckle down and attack my opponent (debt) like a political ad.

Speaking of which, have you been keeping up with politics? I don't normally indulge much in it myself, but with the upcoming elections I felt that it would only be right to pay a little attention. I can summarize my experience thus far, as such:

I really hate political ads.

It has been very interesting and I'm looking forward to the elections. I can't wait to see how things turn out in November... but Alicia Keys wants me to vote for Barack Obama -- and who am I to disappoint her?

Exactly.

***Note: I had to stop writing for about 5 minutes because I was entranced by a combination of Alicia Keys, Gabrielle Union, Keri Hilson, Lauren London and Ashanti's delectable frames on 106 & Park... whew.

I mean, that's a lot of sexy for one man to absorb in a short span of time. While I'm at it, how about Paula Patton? I was mesmerized when I saw "Idlewild." Seriously. I could continue on this tangent forever, but I'll end it with this: you know that woman is doing it something serious for her husband to write a song like "Lost Without U" about her...***

I really hate political ads.

Overall, I'm feeling pretty good these days. Making big plans for the future and taking steps toward achieving the brand of professional success that I've been seeking has been gratifying. I still have a way to go, but I'm certainly on the right track. I'm eager to see where...

I really hate political ads.

...things go from here. I mean, I'm no Daunte Culpepper -- I won't quit. I'll ride the bench on a CFL squad before I give up.

I really hate political ads.

So what have you wonderful people been doing (besides avoiding BET like the black plague)?

Maybe It's Not So Bad After All...

I've been having somewhat of a crisis as of late... unable to determine what my lot is in life. Often, I feel as if my double-degree in Marketing & International Business is more useless than R. Kelly in a room full of 40 year-old women. I mean, what exactly am I supposed to be doing? Should I be going door-to-door with Jehovah's witnesses? Should I be the guy that gets your bowling ball un-stuck? Or should I be wiring your next house for you? I really don't know, but I know that I have to learn the difference between what I'm good at and/or have the capacity to learn and what it is that I actually love/want to do.

I love language... particularly those of the romance variety. I've studied French, Spanish and Italian -- and was a semester shy of starting Portuguese. I've also learned the English language pretty darn well over the years. I'm good at math -- but I suppose I'd have to be, otherwise I'd be the worst insurance underwriter in the history of mankind (not to mention my mother is the assistant manager of a bank and my father was an engineer). I'm a passable salesperson (isn't that what all Marketing majors are encouraged to do?) but I hate it more than those GEBCO commercials... which I suppose J.O. can film in abundance, now that he's retired.

Anyway, I'm going to keep working on figuring out this thing they call life. I predict that I'll find my way back to D.C. someday where I will trot the globe doing something fancy for the World Bank, IMF or some other international outfit with a sweet name or sick initials. I mean, I doesn't IMF almost sound bad-ass until you actually find out what it represents? Seriously, just imagine this convo:

Guy: Yo, Abe! What you up to these days?
Abe: I'm working for the IMF, muthafucka!?!
Guy: Oh shit, word? What is that?
Abe: The INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND, kid! What you know about that shit?
Guy: Oh. That's... hot. Yeah. So.... nice seeing you, anyway. Later.

Perhaps that's just my imagination, anyway. It runs away from me on occasion. Either way, I'm pretty sure that conversation could've gone better for me.

So how did I choose my majors, you ask? Well, as I stated before I like language... and I like trying to figure out how people's brains work. So I thought I found a decent combination. Perhaps I did, but something tells me that I missed the mark because Marketing figures out the human mind for the sake of circumventing naturally-occurring mental safeguards for the sole purpose of selling something. As for International Business... well, most companies just tend not to care. At least I have articles like this one to soothe my trouble mind & soul. Perhaps I'm not alone...

First thing that came to mind after reading that is: Thank goodness I'm agnostic, can't paint and don't smoke cigarettes. I've been considering a Master's degree, but I'm damn sure not wasting thousands upon thousands of dollars on yet another worthless sheet of engraved paper. I want to truly figure myself out and proceed accordingly. Any advice?

Racism Still Exists

A group of white students at a university in South Africa tricked a group of black students into eating a funky stew (by pretending that it was for a Fear Factor-esque program) laced with a peculiar secret ingredient: urine.

Apparently, this incident took place back in September but the video has only surfaced in the last day or two (Editor's note: I wonder what the over-under is on how fast Rev. Al Sharpton will find his way down to South Africa to speak out against these atrocities? I've got my all money on 5 minutes ago).

This all got me thinking... as recently as segregation was still allowed in America (40 years), it has been an even shorter period of time since it was still acceptable in South Africa. How screwy is this whole thing? At the very base of it all, one can be hated simply for possessing more melanin than another. Not because of a heinous crime committed (although in their blind hate, some would peg an African-American for an offense without knowing a thing about him/her) or anything else that could justify such outright disdain -- but because of a person's skin color. Does being dark (or not) dictate how intelligent, thoughtful, classy, respectful, diligent, productive or good (or not) a person will be? Is one predisposed to a life of crime, prison, illegitimate children, manual labor or an otherwise unfulfilled life just because of the hue of their epidermis? I'm no anthrology, sociology or history expert, but I'm truly curious to know what was passing through the minds of the first people to say "Hey, look at them... why are they that color? They're different so I hate them and will teach my offspring and their offspring to hate them in perpetuity."

When broken down to its simplest form, racism is unfounded to a large degree and probably only exists now because it has existed for so long and has been passed to generation after generation.

I want to take the time to make this statement: Minorities can be racists, too. We can "discrimihate" (thanks, André 3000) on ourselves and others like us for reasons unknown. Some refuse to socialize or procreate with other minorities. Some viciously attack other minorities out of spite. Are they lashing out because of how they've been treated? Do they see a dark face and decide to release their anger and frustration? I'm probably way off-base, but I'm just trying to get a discussion going here.

I'm no deity or saint (and won't purport to be), but I know I'm a good person that treats everyone with respect. I'm no criminal... I have a college degree, a great job, a house, a car and multiple bank accounts -- I even have a 401(k), for goodness sake! But do you know what? Somewhere, a white person hates me because I'm black and a black person hates me because I'm doing something with my life. Mind you, I'm NOT insinuating that ALL white or ALL black people behave a certain way, but those that exhibit these behaviors know exactly who they are (and are probably proud of themselves).

I'm probably just being uber-pessimistic right now (this article sure did set me off), but the world is in sad shape. I just can't see world peace -- ever. Hate without reason is a very deadly weapon. A day without hate anywhere in the world is a day when we've all simultaneously fallen asleep or died from global warming and/or some massive explosion from deep in the Earth's core. Just look at all the centuries of tribal battle in the Middle East and Africa -- so senseless. Many of the battles are based on religious beliefs; others have simply been raging on for so long that children are reared to hate the opposition with no real rhyme or reason.

Racism (and most other -isms) has absolutely no place in society. I can only hope that my pessimism proves premature and that something will change... but I promise you that I will not hold my breath waiting.

February 14th

I kinda hate Valentine's Day. By that, I mean I hate what it stands for today. Do I sound like a bitter man, tired of roaming the ranks of solitude? Probably... but the truth is I'm very much the opposite -- I really just don't like this day. It has become a day of self-loathing for single women and overdue, overdone celebration of love for those in relationships. I don't know about you, but relationships are like plants -- I believe that you must prune, feed and water them with relative consistency in order for them to flourish. Personally, I don't know too many couples that thrive on a once annual celebration of love (although a strong argument could be made for anniversaries -- oh wait... most men allegedly don't even remember it in the first place, do they? That's for another day...)

Having a hard time coping with the red & pink bonanza today? Here's my personal advice for surviving this whole wacky thing:

* Couples: Make every day V-day. Well, not literally -- you can't be expected to lavish him/her with luxurious gifts and gestures on a quotidian basis. What I mean is, show him/her every day in some way how you feel. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to perform on February 14th just because society tells you that it is the one day you should go all out. Why not do it on a random Thursday just because you feel like it? I'm the type to buy flowers while I'm out grocery shopping on a Saturday afternoon -- simply because the mood strikes me. It is uncouth to think that one can reserve all shows of affection for one of 365 days per year (not to mention that stubborn leap day). Good days and bad -- make an earnest effort to ensure that your significant other never has to wonder: "Does s/he still love me?" It's always hard to get back to a "good place" once it gets to that point... so if you truly care, don't let that happen.

* Singles: This one is especially for the single ladies out there... but PLEASE stop putting so much value in this day! I acknowledge that not ALL single women feel this way, but there is such a large populace of scorned, bitter women that reveal themselves once per year that it needed to be said. I understand that it's not always fun being single (debatable, but alas -- that's for another day), but why should you allow this one day to raise your distaste to the nth degree? Is it because Hallmark told you that you should be getting a card today? Is it because Godiva moves units like Eminem and Nelly circa 2001? Is it because every florist known to mankind hauls in 10x more receipts on this day than any other this year? Please... it's a joke. Single or not, you are who you are -- and as long as you aren't a bad person, then your time will come. Please don't sit around scarfing down Chunky Monkey or Rocky Road, watching "Sleepless in Seattle" with a box of Kleenex(TM) at your side. There are so many things about which to rejoice that it doesn't make sense to get all depressed on such an artificial day of celebration.

Well, that about wraps up my advice for this year. For those of you celebrating, please don't take this as reprimand or a suggestion that you scale it back. I'll admit that despite my better judgment, women love this day and I go along with it when necessary (which will be forever at this point). If you want to do any and everything to make your woman happy today, then by all means be my guest... I just hope that today isn't the only day you'll make an honest effort to show her how you feel about her.

Happy Make-All-The-Florists-Hallmark-Stores-And-Chocolatiers-Rich Day. May you take from it whatever you wish. Just don't go doing anything stupid like jumping off a bridge -- because I, for one, will most certainly NOT jump in after you.