Auto-Tune Is Officially Dead

One of Jay-Z's kindest acts was to go on a personal crusade to stop everybody from using auto-tune -- or at least, write one song about it. What was once an occasional commodity, made popular by Zapp & Roger Troutman (and later, Teddy Riley), became a crutch for talentless buffoons and lazy singers to effortlessly modulate the pitch of their vocals. What was once cool, became more annoying than waiting for 3 hours at the DMV, only to be told that you were in the wrong line.

Unfortunately, he rapped in vain as artists continued to abuse the application like musical meth addicts... that is until NOW.

Flavor Flav must have caught wind of Jay-Z's plight & decided to offer his help by single-handedly eradicating any desire to even hear that word again. He has created something so powerful, that some have been rendered sterile within seconds. So, I'm hereby challenging you, the reader to take a gander. Take a look at this masterpiece -- and I dare you not to shed a tear.

Without further ado, I present to you:

FLAVOR FLAV - "I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO"



Happy new year... bitches.

Random Song of the Week: 8/30

There is truly nothing that I can say to introduce this video... except the following:

Q: What do you get when you cross short shorts, countless gold rope chains and the glorious self-indulgence of the 80s with a no-nonsense tough guy?

A: The song of the week -- "Treat Your Mother Right" by Mr. T. Enjoy... and I dare you not to literally laugh your ass off.

Justin is just TOO damn funny!

I don't care how you feel about him as an artist or his deliciously hot girlfriend Jessica Biel, but you have to admit: Justin Timberlake is FANTASTIC on SNL. I swear he gets better every time... plus it didn't hurt that Ciara did a split and plenty of well-executed gyration during her musical performance!

So what happens when you breed J.T.'s innate comic timing with his obvious musical chops? Well, here's a great example:



And of course the classic:



Don't be shocked if he becomes a full-time cast member after such brilliance... seriously.

Once I stop myself from laughing, I'll go back to playing with my new PS3.

No Words Needed

Her stupidity says it all...

Ode to Old Bay

You've remained in the shadows, rejecting all praise due
You season my crabs, shrimp and of course, my chicken
Too.. I've never taken the proper time to really thank you,
Because my fingers, I'm just too busy lickin'
Off your delicious residue, traces of your loving touch
Who'd have known a simple spice could've made such
A difference? Simple ignorance on my part
To have so long neglected you just breaks my heart.
But I'm here to make things right
In fact, I'm going to start tonight
By sprinkling your salty essence all over everything on my plate
'Til my neighbor has to come by and resuscitate
Me. Your delicious, not-too-much sodium composition
Is competition even for Sweet Potato biscuits, and
Signifies summertime like only Will Smith can
We go back to early childhood like those slap wrist-bands
So I hope you never again experience such neglect when
You so effortlessly season my grub to perfection.

Here's looking at you, "Ol' Bay"
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I hope y'all know I was just fuckin' around.
"It's a celebration, bitches... drink up -- be merry!!"

Why I Still Love "Family Guy"

I needn't sully this post with long paragraphs or soliloquy... just click & enjoy!

Firsts

For those of you who haven't already experienced it, this is easily one of the top two most awesome wedding videos I've ever seen in the history of time -- all lack of true rhythm aside.

Click 'PLAY' & enjoy.