Guilty Until Proven Guilty

Why is it that someone can be found not guilty of a serious crime, but can never remove the stigma associated with the accusation? Michael got off -- not once, but twice -- on criminal child molestation charges. Charges against Kobe were quickly dismissed. R. Kelly has yet to be convicted of statuatory rape. Our legal system seems to work just fine... but our collective brain seems to be stuck on stupid.

Michael Jackson is guilty of only one thing: loving people too much and putting himself in a silly predicament more than once. Some argue that he must have been guilty, since he settled out of court -- which would be the wrong train of thought.

What people fail to realize is that the boy's family initially suggested settlement. They said that they would cease the pursuit of their civil suit if he would fork over the money. Not wanting to be subjected to continued ridicule and scrutiny, MJ decided to pay up. He negotiated the family down and settled out of court -- but not before the multitude of reports that he had been accused (or in our society, found guilty) of inappropriate behavior. Little do folks know, it was later found that there was not enough evidence to go forward with the criminal case and it was dropped.

The second time around, MJ decided to fight the charges in court -- and the jury found him not guilty. Now, I'm not sure if it was because he'd already been in trouble for it once (and didn't learn his lesson about letting the children be around him in that setting), but folks just couldn't seem to understand that a verdict of NOT GUILTY means that there wasn't suffficient evidence to suggest that the charges brought against the man were valid... so why is it that he was referred to constantly as a child molester? Because we don't know how to separate accusations from the truth.

At one point, Kobe Bryant's lawyer argued that "using the word 'victim' constitutes a kind of prejudicial communication that could taint the process" (ed. note: SO true). Makes sense when you consider that although the charges were dropped, that didn't stop people from calling Kobe a rapist & despising his very existence. You don't have to like him, but why are so many still holding something against him that was not proven to be true?

R. Kelly may never get a fair shake, on account of the type of music that he normally performs. He has proven himself as a singer-songwriter, responsible for many huge hits -- including "Fortunate" (Maxwell) and "You Are Not Alone" (Michael Jackson). Neverthelesss, he also had a penchant for freakier fare -- which is why it was so feasible that he might have committed statuatory rape. At one point, there was a video floating around that was purported to feature him bathing the young lady in a "golden shower." As of yet, he has not been convicted... but will that stop folks from calling him a rapist until proven otherwise? Highly doubtful.

When does it stop? What happened to the presumption of innocence? I was pretty sure that it was how we did things here in the US. For example: An Idaho man named Charles Fain was convicted of kidnapping, assaulting & murdering a 9 year-old. After spending 18 years on Death Row, DNA evidence was tested -- proving that he was in fact not the perpetrator. This man was incorrectly placed on DEATH ROW, but proven to be innocent. Are there those that will think twice about walking near this man or having him around their children? You bet. Wanna know why? Because we're allergic to the facts.

Maybe one day we'll get over this prevailing mentality... but I have a feeling that the healing won't begin until the media stops plastering biased information everywhere. Tupac & Roman Polanski were actually CONVICTED of violent crimes -- but they still sold plenty of records & won an Oscar, respectively. Backwards, huh?

If we went back to the days when the media served only the purpose of disseminating information (rather than spreading one-sided opinion pieces), then maybe -- just MAYBE -- people would have a decent chance of shaking accusations... especially AFTER being found NOT GUILTY.

< /rant >

Question...

I got into a car accident last Wednesday around 11pm, on my way home from my part-time job. I wasn't hurt at all, but my car was -- to the point that I had to escape from the passenger side. I can honestly now say that I love oversized American cars, because I truly believe that the girth of my beloved vessel is what protected me from serious injury. Since I'm sure you all REALLY want to know how it all went down, allow me to illustrate in most unnecessary fashion:

So, I'm sitting completely still at a red light -- grooving to the smooth tunes of John Legend and minding my business -- when suddenly...

BAM!!!

This Chevy SUT (Sports Utility Truck) slams into the front quarter panel on my driver's side. I saw it happening... I even thought to myself "Self: that chap is turning AWFULLY wide right now -- does he realize how close he is to... OH SHHHHHHH"

Or something to that effect. Honked my horn quite vigorously, but that just didn't seem to alert him to the impending collision. Naturally, my mortal limitations wouldn't have allowed me to do much more than I had (ed. note: Nothing like a shiny set of headlights coming directly at you to make you find religion... momentarily). I wish that I could illustrate the manner in which his mechanical behemoth of a truck bulldozed my little schooner of a car. To say that his right turn was lacking something would be a veritable understatement. It was more like veering onto a non-existent off-ramp than an actual right turn.
I guess some people just don't like John Legend.

I couldn't open my door at all, and had to climb out the passenger side. No injury, save for the brief discomfort in my ribcage that was likely caused by tensing my abdominal muscles while bracing for impact. My hood, fender, headlight, front quarter panel and door all need to be repaired and/or replaced -- at minimum... and who knows what internal damage was done? Then again, I suppose that the same could be said for me! Making things even more thrilling was the fact that I had to leave early the next day to get an iridotomy on my right eye. Oh, what fun!

So, I finally get the call from the body shop regarding the estimated repairs and... ouch -- $5,500. Not sexy at all. I'm almost surprised that they're even going to bother fixing it. Fortunately, this is why I pay $124 every month for car insurance. My "good neighbor" will be paying for my repairs, and subsequently pursuing the offender's insurance carrier for remuneration (aka subrogation).

So here's the question: to sue or not to sue?

Several parties have advised that I seek medical attention and proceed to sue the responsible party. Granted, his insurance could likely settle matters expeditiously and cut me a check -- but why? Should I sue if I (seemingly) wasn't hurt? His insurance will fix my car and likely reimburse me for what was spent out of pocket on the rental... so why sue? I'm not the most religious guy around, but I do put some credence in karma -- and I'm not talking about Ludacris' daughter.

We've become a "sue first, ask questions later" nation, and it's a little disheartening. If my judgment were to exceed the liability limits of his insurance policy, his personal property would then be at stake. His car, house and other personal effects could become involved. Perhaps even garnished wages? I'm no legal expert, but after several years in the auto insurance industry, I'm fully aware that a large settlement could literally destroy this guy's life.

So the real question is: why didn't I just go to whocanisue.com instead of asking you people?

Oh, yes -- because I have a heart. If you don't like it, then sue me.

Racism Still Exists

A group of white students at a university in South Africa tricked a group of black students into eating a funky stew (by pretending that it was for a Fear Factor-esque program) laced with a peculiar secret ingredient: urine.

Apparently, this incident took place back in September but the video has only surfaced in the last day or two (Editor's note: I wonder what the over-under is on how fast Rev. Al Sharpton will find his way down to South Africa to speak out against these atrocities? I've got my all money on 5 minutes ago).

This all got me thinking... as recently as segregation was still allowed in America (40 years), it has been an even shorter period of time since it was still acceptable in South Africa. How screwy is this whole thing? At the very base of it all, one can be hated simply for possessing more melanin than another. Not because of a heinous crime committed (although in their blind hate, some would peg an African-American for an offense without knowing a thing about him/her) or anything else that could justify such outright disdain -- but because of a person's skin color. Does being dark (or not) dictate how intelligent, thoughtful, classy, respectful, diligent, productive or good (or not) a person will be? Is one predisposed to a life of crime, prison, illegitimate children, manual labor or an otherwise unfulfilled life just because of the hue of their epidermis? I'm no anthrology, sociology or history expert, but I'm truly curious to know what was passing through the minds of the first people to say "Hey, look at them... why are they that color? They're different so I hate them and will teach my offspring and their offspring to hate them in perpetuity."

When broken down to its simplest form, racism is unfounded to a large degree and probably only exists now because it has existed for so long and has been passed to generation after generation.

I want to take the time to make this statement: Minorities can be racists, too. We can "discrimihate" (thanks, André 3000) on ourselves and others like us for reasons unknown. Some refuse to socialize or procreate with other minorities. Some viciously attack other minorities out of spite. Are they lashing out because of how they've been treated? Do they see a dark face and decide to release their anger and frustration? I'm probably way off-base, but I'm just trying to get a discussion going here.

I'm no deity or saint (and won't purport to be), but I know I'm a good person that treats everyone with respect. I'm no criminal... I have a college degree, a great job, a house, a car and multiple bank accounts -- I even have a 401(k), for goodness sake! But do you know what? Somewhere, a white person hates me because I'm black and a black person hates me because I'm doing something with my life. Mind you, I'm NOT insinuating that ALL white or ALL black people behave a certain way, but those that exhibit these behaviors know exactly who they are (and are probably proud of themselves).

I'm probably just being uber-pessimistic right now (this article sure did set me off), but the world is in sad shape. I just can't see world peace -- ever. Hate without reason is a very deadly weapon. A day without hate anywhere in the world is a day when we've all simultaneously fallen asleep or died from global warming and/or some massive explosion from deep in the Earth's core. Just look at all the centuries of tribal battle in the Middle East and Africa -- so senseless. Many of the battles are based on religious beliefs; others have simply been raging on for so long that children are reared to hate the opposition with no real rhyme or reason.

Racism (and most other -isms) has absolutely no place in society. I can only hope that my pessimism proves premature and that something will change... but I promise you that I will not hold my breath waiting.

February 14th

I kinda hate Valentine's Day. By that, I mean I hate what it stands for today. Do I sound like a bitter man, tired of roaming the ranks of solitude? Probably... but the truth is I'm very much the opposite -- I really just don't like this day. It has become a day of self-loathing for single women and overdue, overdone celebration of love for those in relationships. I don't know about you, but relationships are like plants -- I believe that you must prune, feed and water them with relative consistency in order for them to flourish. Personally, I don't know too many couples that thrive on a once annual celebration of love (although a strong argument could be made for anniversaries -- oh wait... most men allegedly don't even remember it in the first place, do they? That's for another day...)

Having a hard time coping with the red & pink bonanza today? Here's my personal advice for surviving this whole wacky thing:

* Couples: Make every day V-day. Well, not literally -- you can't be expected to lavish him/her with luxurious gifts and gestures on a quotidian basis. What I mean is, show him/her every day in some way how you feel. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to perform on February 14th just because society tells you that it is the one day you should go all out. Why not do it on a random Thursday just because you feel like it? I'm the type to buy flowers while I'm out grocery shopping on a Saturday afternoon -- simply because the mood strikes me. It is uncouth to think that one can reserve all shows of affection for one of 365 days per year (not to mention that stubborn leap day). Good days and bad -- make an earnest effort to ensure that your significant other never has to wonder: "Does s/he still love me?" It's always hard to get back to a "good place" once it gets to that point... so if you truly care, don't let that happen.

* Singles: This one is especially for the single ladies out there... but PLEASE stop putting so much value in this day! I acknowledge that not ALL single women feel this way, but there is such a large populace of scorned, bitter women that reveal themselves once per year that it needed to be said. I understand that it's not always fun being single (debatable, but alas -- that's for another day), but why should you allow this one day to raise your distaste to the nth degree? Is it because Hallmark told you that you should be getting a card today? Is it because Godiva moves units like Eminem and Nelly circa 2001? Is it because every florist known to mankind hauls in 10x more receipts on this day than any other this year? Please... it's a joke. Single or not, you are who you are -- and as long as you aren't a bad person, then your time will come. Please don't sit around scarfing down Chunky Monkey or Rocky Road, watching "Sleepless in Seattle" with a box of Kleenex(TM) at your side. There are so many things about which to rejoice that it doesn't make sense to get all depressed on such an artificial day of celebration.

Well, that about wraps up my advice for this year. For those of you celebrating, please don't take this as reprimand or a suggestion that you scale it back. I'll admit that despite my better judgment, women love this day and I go along with it when necessary (which will be forever at this point). If you want to do any and everything to make your woman happy today, then by all means be my guest... I just hope that today isn't the only day you'll make an honest effort to show her how you feel about her.

Happy Make-All-The-Florists-Hallmark-Stores-And-Chocolatiers-Rich Day. May you take from it whatever you wish. Just don't go doing anything stupid like jumping off a bridge -- because I, for one, will most certainly NOT jump in after you.

Am I a Traitor?

I like Barack Obama. He comes off as very clean, chic, genial, eloquent, motivating, concerned -- and just seems like a cool cat, overall (which you'd be hard-pressed to believe after reading this religion-based smear-fest about him). In fact, he looks like that really cool uncle who bought you better birthday gifts than your parents ever did and let you stay up really late.

Did you notice a glaring omission in my observations? I didn't mention that I like him because he's black. Why not, you ask? It's simple -- because I don't give a flying fuck about that. Ever notice how so many women are jumping on Hillary Clinton's bandwagon because she's a woman and NOT because she's an excellent candidate with good ideas about how to turn our country around? Much like when the Jena 6 and Michael Vick were the topics-du-jour, I choose not blindly agree with the masses. So, I have a question for you: does this point of view make me a traitor? Am I in the wrong here? Short answer: No. Absolutely not.

Just because the man's melanin levels rival mine do not make him the best candidate for me. I'm not even saying that I won't vote for him. I'm just saying that I'd like to compare all of the candidates' ideals against mine and choose the person that best suits my own agenda. I want to vote for the candidate who I believe will be most capable of leading this country in the direction that I hope to see it go. I owe myself that much -- especially when considering how much taxes are borrowed from my paycheck by the government every other week.

So where in the Constitution does it say that I'm required to support any and every one that looks somewhat like I do? Which verse in the holy book of your choosing dictates that I "act black" and be "pro-black" at all times? Not that minorities of all kinds don't deserve opportunities to vie for positions of authority just like the majority, but I shouldn't feel obligated to support them for that reason alone. How many of you know someone that would run you down for being black and not voting for Obama, not supporting Vick, insisting that the Jena 6 did a few wrong things prior to that horrific ordeal and refusing to listen to hip-hop? If I shun Timberland or Nike boots as my choice of winter footwear, does it suggest that I may have fallen & bumped my head with concussive force? Do these things define me as an African-American?

One of the most beautiful things about being an American is having the freedom to choose. I can choose to own a gun (don't worry -- I don't want one). I can choose to vote. I can choose to boo anything or anybody -- even the little kids on Showtime at the Apollo. I can choose which brand of deodorant is pH balanced just for me. I don't live in a communist nation and people shouldn't treat me as such. I used to love Limp Bizkit and listened to their music often. Am I crazy for finding Superbad extremely funny? Is it wrong that I've dated a few white women in my lifetime? Is it wrong that I like John Mayer's voice? Should I have my "card" revoked now for conduct contrary to societal expectations?

I refuse to be characterized one way or another because of my skin color alone. Whether I'm listening to DMX or Coldplay, watching Seinfeld or Martin, The Great Debaters or No Country for Old Men -- none of this changes anything. I am who I am and I like what I like. To those who would try to put me in a box and chastise me for attempting to think or act outside of it, I say this: Kiss my entire ass. Just kiss it.

P.S.: Those Senate Auto Insurance commercials are just awful, aren't they?