Thursday, December 13, 2007


*I know that one's personal life is not ideal blog fodder, but I don't have to dig too deep on this one. I just have to get this off my chest real quick. I promise I'm not always like this -- I'm just a lil' heated right now.*

According to the American Heritage Dictionary, friendship can be defined as follows:
friend·ship (frěnd'shĭp') n.
1. The quality or condition of being friends.
2. A friendly relationship: formed many new friendships over the summer.
3. Friendliness; good will: a policy of friendship toward other nations.

I don't claim to be a Rhodes scholar, but that seems to be a pretty straightforward theory. What do you think of when it comes to friends? A shoulder to lean on, someone to call when times get tough, talk to you when the most evil of temptations seem too good to resist, laugh at your bad jokes and pick you up when you fall; someone who will exhibit kindness, patience, compassion and love for you through thick & thin, etc -- and for whom you would do all of the above. So like Sadat X, I have a question: Why is it that every time I try to reach out to one of my so-called friends in particular, I get nothing but shade?? C'mon, man -- FUNK DAT!

Is it that some can't grasp the concept of friendship? Apparently, because she's off her rocker. Don't tell me that I should call you more often, then turn around and avoid my calls. Don't ignore my non-free text messages. Don't yell at me because you're not on my top friends list on MySpace (who gives a flying FUCK anyway?) Even after knowing her for 13-14 years, I still don't fucking get her.

Either spread the good will or split like a sumo wrestler's jeans because I don't need the aggravation right now. Someone once told me that some people are like seasons -- meant to come and go in your life, never there to stay permanently but are likely to resurface from time to time. I'm starting to think that is the case with this particular friend. Remember how it was still hot in October when it was clearly supposed to be cooling down? Summer stuck around too long -- and maybe that's the case here too.

And I'm SPENT...


Music Snob said...

When I feel like I'm in a imbalanced friendship I usually express my concerns to the friend of interest and then give the person the opportunity to demonstrate that they are a good friend. Then if they fail to do so I usually just adjust my level of effort to match there's so that I don't feel bitter or upset. However this adjustment can result in the friendship completely dissolving, however in my not so humble opinion better to dissolve than to be chasing after somebody.

Also, perhaps I'm overstepping my boundaries, but are you sure that this is just a friend? Anytime I've ever complained that a dude didn't call me enough there was usually something else going on, but hey that could just be me and my f-ed up relationship with me.

Anyway cheer up and good luck!

ps I have no problem with the more personal entries as long as they are coherent and remotely interesting. But perhaps that's just because I'm nosey as hell, hence my love of Postsecret. :op

Erika 2004 said...

I hate to see friendships end, but sometimes, you have to let go and let live. I've had to pull away from family members that just drain the lifeforce out of me. Because it just isn't worth it to pulled into unnecessary drama.

Snob has a point. Maybe you can address your concerns to this friend first. True friends should be able to communicate. If that doesn't help, hey, see ya when I see ya!

Take care, man. Hope it all works out in the end, either way.

Not Your Average Male said...

[Snob] Yeah, she's always just been a friend -- nobody has ever tried to make a move of any kind. Her erratic behavior would preclude any other type of relationship from surviving anyway (although this one seems to be on life support, now doesn't it?

Thank you both for the kind advice -- I'm making mental notes as we speak.

Rashard G. said...

I could just as easily call/text you to ask this but is this "friend" someone I know? Someone we went to school with?