Thursday, January 3, 2008

I Need Your Help

In case you have just awakened from a 50-year coma, then you are aware that the picture on the left is of a personal computer. Over the years, it has become quite a handy tool for mundane tasks (e.g., word processing & Internet surfing), as well as more complex tasks (e.g., tabulating taxes & viewing full-length porn clips). Honestly, I don't care to imagine my life without mine. I'd feel lost and isolated from the rest of the world. Unfortunately, I get a glimpse of this unconscionable realm every time I go to visit my mother in Maryland.

What does this mean, you ask? A weekend with no e-mail access. No No instant messaging. No Facebook or MySpace. No blogging. Nothing at all.

You're thinking, "Does she live in Bora Bora?" Well, no -- it just feels like it. My mother came to the US over 27 years ago in search of a better life and education. After settling in the Washington, DC area, she graduated from UDC (yeah, there is such a school) and has worked for Bank of America for over 20 years now -- in an extremely technology-driven industry. Unfortunately, this daily exposure to computers has not translated well to her home life. My mother suffers from Computerilliteratitis -- and she is not alone. You probably know someone who breaks into a cold sweat at the mere mention of Microsoft Office; in fact, you may live with this person. Statistics show that many elderly persons struggle with an even more vicious variant of the virus that renders them unable to muster up the courage to attempt to power up a PC. Many of us have loved ones who suffer everyday... and together, we can stop this menace -- before it's too late.

For less than the cost of a cup of coffee each morning (or less time than you'd spend waiting for it to brew), you can make certain that my mother and others like her get the help that they so desperately need. Oh, so you tithed this week? No worries. If you cannot donate liquid assets, then substitute the greatest of intangibles -- your time. Spend a few minutes a day with someone in need and foster the confidence to do more with a PC than check bank account balances. Help someone learn to type a document in Microsoft Word. Show someone the wonders of Google and YouTube. Illustrate how inappropriate & unacceptable dial-up internet access is with the bevy of high-speed options available in 2008. Teach someone how to make a photo slide-show and be the envy of their friends and co-workers. Bestow upon them the power of Ctrl+Alt+Del.

It's not too late to save my mother and others like her -- but we must act quickly before it's untreatable. Your donation will go directly toward those who need it most. Act now and receive absolutely nothing in return for your kindness.

Now you know -- and knowing is half the battle. The power is yours.


Music Snob said...

Dear NYAM,

Are you by any chance related to Sally Struthers? Either way this posting deeply touched me. I too am the offspring of a mother with computerilliteratitis. Over Thanksgiving I brought home my old laptop for my mother to use to start her autobiography. Despite throughly setting her up with her own login and taking the time to introduce her to the magical world of MS Office, when I returned to Jersey for Xmas the laptop had barely been touched. Well thats not entirely true, I do think she moved it briefly to clean, but effectively no progress.

Given that I live 4 hrs away I don't know what else to do. Any and all advice would be appreciated oh wise one.

-Hopeless in Bmore

The Girl From Park Heights said...

Sweet bastard! What a terrible, terrible affliction!

Is there an 800 number? Where do I send a check? No one, and I mean no one should be left behind like that!

That poor woman!

Not Your Average Male said...

Thank you all for the outpouring of support. As I said before, only together can we defeat this malicious malady.

[MS] -- Although I'm not related to Ms. Struthers, I am touched that you were touched. My condolences to you and your family. In order to ease your mother into the wonderful world that is her PC, I suggest you try downloading (or obtaining the URL for) an extremely addictive game for her to play. As a youth, Classic Concentration and Wheel Of Fortune kept me just as glued to my seat as Oregon Trail did. If all else fails, just show her how to buy shoes online -- you'll never be able to get through on the house phone again.

[GFPH] All phone inquiries should be directed to (800) A-PC-4-ALL (272-4255), or you can visit our website at

*Note: The company assumes no liability if either that website or phone number actually work.

Eb the Celeb said...

LOL... I am getting my mom hip... She has a laptop now... I got her a blackberry last year.. and she has known how to text message for about 6 months now... she still aint got the picture mail thing down though...LOL

Eb the Celeb said...

and I still have to put songs on her ipod for her too

Not Your Average Male said...

Hold on, Eb -- let me make sure I got this right. You are:

1) a football fan
2) better yet, a COWBOYS fan
3) a track & field fan
4) a poet
5) an ESPN employee
6) a music & movie buff
7) an A&T alum like one of my best friends from high school

and prob more that I'm missing right now?

Yeah... so let me know if you ever need anyone killed. Or injured. Or threatened. Or maybe you just want a Hallmark card sent.

Either way, you're alright by me.