Auto-Tune Is Officially Dead

One of Jay-Z's kindest acts was to go on a personal crusade to stop everybody from using auto-tune -- or at least, write one song about it. What was once an occasional commodity, made popular by Zapp & Roger Troutman (and later, Teddy Riley), became a crutch for talentless buffoons and lazy singers to effortlessly modulate the pitch of their vocals. What was once cool, became more annoying than waiting for 3 hours at the DMV, only to be told that you were in the wrong line.

Unfortunately, he rapped in vain as artists continued to abuse the application like musical meth addicts... that is until NOW.

Flavor Flav must have caught wind of Jay-Z's plight & decided to offer his help by single-handedly eradicating any desire to even hear that word again. He has created something so powerful, that some have been rendered sterile within seconds. So, I'm hereby challenging you, the reader to take a gander. Take a look at this masterpiece -- and I dare you not to shed a tear.

Without further ado, I present to you:

FLAVOR FLAV - "I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO"



Happy new year... bitches.

Best Commercial of 2009

No more words -- just enjoy:

Random Song of the Week: 8/30

There is truly nothing that I can say to introduce this video... except the following:

Q: What do you get when you cross short shorts, countless gold rope chains and the glorious self-indulgence of the 80s with a no-nonsense tough guy?

A: The song of the week -- "Treat Your Mother Right" by Mr. T. Enjoy... and I dare you not to literally laugh your ass off.

Is Michael Vick the Devil?

I'm not quite certain that I understand, so maybe you can help me out.

Correct me if I'm wrong -- but it was my understanding that the point of incarceration was to remove a criminal from society, thus providing the opportunity for one to reflect on the crimes perpetrated (and as punishment for said actions).

Again, correct me if I'm wrong -- but this is what happened with Michael Vick. He committed an admittedly HEINOUS crime and served 2 years as punishment, in addition to the hundreds of millions in lost salary & endorsements. He had to file for bankruptcy protection as his liquid assets were quickly wiped out. He missed valuable time with his young children, even missing the birth of his youngest daughter. He must live daily with the fact that he allowed something unconscionable to happen on his watch, nearly losing everything that he had in the process. So why was this not enough?

The man hasn't played in the NFL in 3 years but there are some who feel that this is not punishment enough. When the Eagles announced yesterday that they'd signed him, the reaction was so mixed... some immediately sold their season tix online, while some were frothing at the mouth just thinking about the offensive nightmare the Birds could become.

There are some that will never give him a chance to prove that he's learned from his mistakes and that he can become an example for others. The man isn't even 30 years old -- he has PLENTY of time to make things right. Speaking of making things right, I'm further confused by the fact that Donte Stallworth did not generate a fraction of the outrage expressed toward Michael Vick. Let's look at the "tale of the tape" shall we?

Michael Vick
Crime: Financing a vicious dogfighting ring, conducted at a residence that he owned.

Punishment: Two year jail sentence & concurrent NFL suspension, expected to extend into October. Not allowed to own dogs anymore.

Public Reaction: Extreme outrage, to the extent that some would have him killed in the same manner as the dogs.

Donte Stallworth
Crime: Got high & drunk while out partying one night. Drove his luxury car down a busy street and plowed into a motorist, killing him.

Punishment: Thirty day jail sentence & 1 year NFL suspension. Never allowed to drive again. Also made settlement with family as part of his plea.

Public Reaction: Has there been any? This got nowhere near the airtime & scrutiny that Vick got the day the Eagles signed him, let alone since the incident first happened.

And don't even get me started on Rick Pitino...

Sure, the public reacted to Stallworth -- but can anyone in their right mind say that it even compares to Vick? Vick's actions led to the deaths of scores of dogs, while Stallworth got high/drunk and killed a human being. Unless we're giving Stallworth a pass for being inebriated, I just don't get it. Human beings will always come before dogs on my hierarchy, no matter how you slice it. Who would you rather your daughter bring home: a dogfighter or a serial rapist? Again, I'm not saying that it's okay, but I feel like it needs to be put into perspective a bit. Dogfighting is cruel, but deer hunting for sport is even worse in my opinion. Killing those innocent animals just to put a new head on your wall? I guess killing is perfectly moral when you have a license for it.

I'm not saying that Vick is an angel -- I know he screwed up BIG TIME and committed a DEPLORABLE act... but much like a man who has cheated on his wife, he is asking for a second chance. He has paid his debt to society and is looking to become a productive member again. I just ask that we give the man a chance to make good on his promise. Now if he pulls an Adam "Pacman" Jones and relapses by even so much LOOKING at a dog twice, we can revisit this topic... At that point, I can assure you that my post would be short & sweet:

THROW THE FUCKING BOOK AT HIM.

Random Song of the Week: 8/9/09

I'm a year older!

Yes, yes... your favorite non-average male blogger just celebrated a birthday -- by having one of the longest 4-day work weeks known to mankind. If not for one of my best friends coming up to Philly this weekend, I would have nothing to motivate me through it.

Anyway, I was in the mood to cool out again this week... so I present to you my song of the week for 8/9: "Let's Groove" by Earth, Wind & Fire.

Enjoy... and I challenge you to NOT nod your head & sing along!

Random Song of the Week: 8/2/09

I'm back after a week off! I spent a little time up in Toronto for one of my best friend's bachelor parties. Have I ever told you before how much I love that city? Allow me to do so now.

I FUCKING LOVE TORONTO, ONTARIO, CANADA. What a great city! This was proof that my trip there last year was far from a fluke. The people, the parade, the parties, the food, the landscape -- everything... I just wish I could take all of my friends there for one good weeekend.

Anyway, after a nice long weekend in heaven, I was in the mood to cool out... so I present to you my song of the week for 8/2: "A Long Walk" by Jill Scott.

Enjoy... and I challenge you to NOT nod your head & sing along!

Random Song of the Week: 7/19

This week, we're still hanging around in the 80s... I wasn't ready to step away quite yet!

I present to you the song of the week: "Oh Shiela" by Ready For The World.

Enjoy... and I challenge you to NOT nod your head & sing along!

For the Videogame Lover In You...

Hilarious spoof video from IGN.

Watch & enjoy -- all my fellow video game fans should be able to easily relate.

Random Song of the Week: 7/12

This is something that I do every week at work, so I figured I'd start doing it here. I'd like to share with you what I'll call my "Random Song of the Week."

This week, I plan to take you back to a time when music was the veritable SHIT.

I present to you: "Rock Steady" by The Whispers.

Enjoy... and I challenge you to NOT nod your head & sing along!

Guilty Until Proven Guilty

Why is it that someone can be found not guilty of a serious crime, but can never remove the stigma associated with the accusation? Michael got off -- not once, but twice -- on criminal child molestation charges. Charges against Kobe were quickly dismissed. R. Kelly has yet to be convicted of statuatory rape. Our legal system seems to work just fine... but our collective brain seems to be stuck on stupid.

Michael Jackson is guilty of only one thing: loving people too much and putting himself in a silly predicament more than once. Some argue that he must have been guilty, since he settled out of court -- which would be the wrong train of thought.

What people fail to realize is that the boy's family initially suggested settlement. They said that they would cease the pursuit of their civil suit if he would fork over the money. Not wanting to be subjected to continued ridicule and scrutiny, MJ decided to pay up. He negotiated the family down and settled out of court -- but not before the multitude of reports that he had been accused (or in our society, found guilty) of inappropriate behavior. Little do folks know, it was later found that there was not enough evidence to go forward with the criminal case and it was dropped.

The second time around, MJ decided to fight the charges in court -- and the jury found him not guilty. Now, I'm not sure if it was because he'd already been in trouble for it once (and didn't learn his lesson about letting the children be around him in that setting), but folks just couldn't seem to understand that a verdict of NOT GUILTY means that there wasn't suffficient evidence to suggest that the charges brought against the man were valid... so why is it that he was referred to constantly as a child molester? Because we don't know how to separate accusations from the truth.

At one point, Kobe Bryant's lawyer argued that "using the word 'victim' constitutes a kind of prejudicial communication that could taint the process" (ed. note: SO true). Makes sense when you consider that although the charges were dropped, that didn't stop people from calling Kobe a rapist & despising his very existence. You don't have to like him, but why are so many still holding something against him that was not proven to be true?

R. Kelly may never get a fair shake, on account of the type of music that he normally performs. He has proven himself as a singer-songwriter, responsible for many huge hits -- including "Fortunate" (Maxwell) and "You Are Not Alone" (Michael Jackson). Neverthelesss, he also had a penchant for freakier fare -- which is why it was so feasible that he might have committed statuatory rape. At one point, there was a video floating around that was purported to feature him bathing the young lady in a "golden shower." As of yet, he has not been convicted... but will that stop folks from calling him a rapist until proven otherwise? Highly doubtful.

When does it stop? What happened to the presumption of innocence? I was pretty sure that it was how we did things here in the US. For example: An Idaho man named Charles Fain was convicted of kidnapping, assaulting & murdering a 9 year-old. After spending 18 years on Death Row, DNA evidence was tested -- proving that he was in fact not the perpetrator. This man was incorrectly placed on DEATH ROW, but proven to be innocent. Are there those that will think twice about walking near this man or having him around their children? You bet. Wanna know why? Because we're allergic to the facts.

Maybe one day we'll get over this prevailing mentality... but I have a feeling that the healing won't begin until the media stops plastering biased information everywhere. Tupac & Roman Polanski were actually CONVICTED of violent crimes -- but they still sold plenty of records & won an Oscar, respectively. Backwards, huh?

If we went back to the days when the media served only the purpose of disseminating information (rather than spreading one-sided opinion pieces), then maybe -- just MAYBE -- people would have a decent chance of shaking accusations... especially AFTER being found NOT GUILTY.

< /rant >

Bill O'Reilly

...is a bigoted, right-wing creton with some of the most self-serving opinions I've ever heard. I would never do him the honor of watching him speak or paying to read anything he publishes. He's a worthless creep and does not deserve any more energy or attention than what I've just given him.

< /rant >

I agree that racism needs to go away. There are many who rely far too much on the race card, admittedly -- and the Al Sharptons and Jesse Jacksons of the world are overly quick to react... but that doesn't mean that racism doesn't happen.

I've written about this topic before, but He-Who-Deserves-Not-Be-Named inspired my wrath once more. What folks seem not to understand is that although racism is cited more often than necessary, IT STILL HAPPENS. Ask around and see how many people think only blacks are on welfare or live in the "ghetto." Ask your friends how many of them clutch their purses more tightly when they walk past a group of black kids. Ask how many of your friends think Hispanics are all illegal immigrants that aren't good at anything but landscaping & gangbanging. Ask them if they think that Asians are all great mathematicians that are destined to own dry cleaners & chinese food stores. Or maybe they think all Indians can't speak English and don't know anything other than convenience stores & Dunkin' Donuts franchises.

Now imagine that YOU'RE one of said persons of color. Imagine that you've had to combat these discriminatory notions for your entire life. Just imagine it -- because that's all you can do, if you've never actually lived it. Don't let the media fool you into thinking anything else... and don't let media bias sway you into adopting a mob mentality. I can't tell you how many times I've watched media outlets manufacture controversy -- and racial episodes & ideals are certainly not excluded.

Fourty years after we were finally freed legally of the remnants of slavery in America, it is still difficult to cope with racial attitudes in this country. Don't get me wrong -- like myself, there are a lot of people out there that can look someone in the eye and see past everything... but there are so many that can't get past the level of melanin in your skin. I can genuinely say that I have wonderful people in my life of all colors, who I love without regard to their skin -- and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Whenever the day finally comes that no person in America is made uncomfortable by the glances & stereotypes bestowed upon them by virtue of centuries of racist mentalities, then -- and only then -- can the subject of race truly be dropped.

That and when they stop asking that damn question on job applications.

Inappropriate

This is just inexcusable.

OK! Weekly magazine decided to use a close-up photo of MJ being attended to by medical personnel in what would be his final moments.

To say that I'm disturbed would be an understatement. MJ or not, I really don't think this was appropriate by any measure. As inappropriate as I think this celebration was, this magazine cover really took the cake... then again, I don't even want to get started on NY politician Peter King. It's only a matter of time before his dirty laundry is aired -- after all, he is a politician. Politicians without skeletons in their closets are like baseball players without steroids: presumed to be the minority. I'd love to hear what he has to say when the shoe is on the other foot.

I understand that his passing was tragic and that he meant a lot to so many (which some of us didn't realize until it was too late), but this is sensationalism beyond comprehension.

The link is below, if you so dare to click. If so, I'd love to get your opinion; if not, I'm sure that I've given you enough information to opine anyway.

WARNING: This link says it all...

MJ versus Jesus?

Don't intend to create controversy, but I had to share something...

I was listening to Charlemagne this morning (formerly of Wendy Williams' radio show in NYC, now the host of the morning show on 100.3 The Beat here in Philly) and he brought up an interesting conversation he'd had last night on Twitter with some guy who made a VERY bold statement:

MJ is more popular than Jesus.

Now, that may initially sound blasphemous to any religious folks reading this; however, he immediately proceeded to put his comment into its proper context. What he meant was that in today's society, MJ was relevant to more people than Jesus is. He pointed to a recent study that was done with high school freshmen, in which they were shown pictures of MJ and Jesus. Practically every one of them said that they recognized MJ. Jesus? Didn't fare quite as well.

I will readily admit that there are some flaws with the study (e.g., is there such a thing as a true "picture" of Jesus? As far as I can tell, there are only artistic representations of him -- so who knows how those kids "saw" Jesus in their heads?) Nevertheless, I found it all quite interesting... so when he asked for listeners' opinions, I was the first one to call and speak to him on air.

The whole thing coincidentally reminded me of a convo that I'd had on Friday with a co-worker, the gist of which I recanted to him. She was upset that more people seemed to be mourning and/or reporting on MJ's death than Pope John Paul II. I remarked first that the Pope was VERY old and sickly for quite some time -- so people "saw" it coming; meanwhile, MJ just dropped dead at 50. Additionally, not everybody is a Christian/Catholic/etc. that views the Pope as an important figure in the same regard as those of that religious orientation.

There are plenty of Muslims, Jews, atheists, agnostics, etc. to whom the Pope was no more than a little guy with a BIG hat; meanwhile, MJ's music touched people in all countries, of all colors, creeds, sizes, shapes, origins, etc. MJ had today's thugs in red jackets and white socks not so long ago. From bums to billionaires, MJ has reached more kinds of people than any of us could ever dare count in our lifetime -- and will more than likely continue to do so for some years to come. As for the Pope? Honestly, I don't even know the current one's name. As the young kids say, that's "real talk."

Now, don't even get me started on the commercial nature of the J-man's b-day. Most kids don't (and may never) know what Christmas is supposed to observe. They think it's about snow, trees, dinner and presents -- and probably think the pope is what their grandfathers puff on every night in the family room. While I admit that I observe it as a day for family & friends to spend precious time together, I would argue that Christmas is just as commercial a holiday as Valentine's Day.

For those that believe in him, Jesus is most certainly as important as anyone or anything comes -- but MJ is probably more widely known and/or recognizable. Mind you, there is a big difference in connotation, relative to popularity... I mean, people don't pray to MJ -- although I guess it could be argued that some worshipped him, what with all the fainting & such. I'd be willing to bet that someone in Sri Lanka is doing the "Thriller" dance in the living room as we speak... and that nobody is practicing their Pope Wave™.

At the end of the day, I think that I agree with the guy: I think that MJ is more popular/recognizable (just look at the posts he's inspired me to create) than Jesus -- but that is not to be confused with "important", "enduring" or anything like it. I acknowledge that organized religion is a powerful force in society and will not go away any time soon, considering that it has survived 2 millenia (ed. note: why does everyone call Buddhism a religion? It's more accurately described as a "way of life" than anything). I respect the religious convictions of others and would never say intentionally disrespect things; nevertheless, I feel like MJ's reach extended beyond religious & cultural boundaries -- and that's what made him more recognizable.

For now, anyway...

Your thoughts?

The Death of a Legend

Disclaimer: This blog is solely my opinion/sentiment. If you have a problem with it, then click the back arrow at the top of your browser.


It has taken me 24 hours to be able to form a coherent thought. I still don't want to believe the news, although it is splattered all over the TV and internet. Although we know that everyone is mortal, nothing can prepare you for premature departure. As sad as I was to learn that Farrah Fawcett had succombed to her years-long battle with cancer, it paled in comparison to the feeling that I would soon have in the pit of my stomach mere hours later.

One of the absolute greatest musicians of all time passed away on June 25, 2009 at 2:26pm PST. Michael Joseph Jackson. MJ. The King of Pop. He was only 50 years old.

Despite only living to the age of 50, MJ was able to give us 45 years of entertainment. He was robbed of the typical American childhood so that he might be able to provide us with some of the most breathtaking, spectacular music & dancing that many of us had ever heard or seen. My first musical memories involve the best-selling album of all time, "Thriller." There was little that this man could do musically that did not inspire me. I challenge you to search the internet for his lyrics and really take a good look. You will find much inspiration and creativity -- something that is sorely lacking in today's music scene. Whenever I was asked the once ultimate question (MJ or Prince?), I always had the same answer... MJ all day.

Some people out there are actually pleased or indifferent to the fact that he has passed away. I can understand if you felt no connection to the man, but to cheer his death? That is one of the sickest things imaginable. That was someone's father, brother, cousin, son, nephew and hero. There is no reason to spread such vile, negative, virulent filth on such a somber occasion. As the old saying goes, "if you don't have anything good to say, then don't say anything at all." So many are trying to chastise those of us who mourn. Your beliefs are exactly that -- yours. Do not tell me who to mourn or how. I lament the loss of the biggest musician of my lifetime and make no apologies for it. If your family member were to pass and the public had a similar reaction, you'd be sickened to your very core.

Michael was obviously what I like to call "psychologically underdeveloped" for a man of his age. He spent his childhood staring at other kids through the window instead of playing like a normal 5 year-old. He never got to go to school with "normal" kids and experience "normal" life. He seemed to overcompensate for this later in life, as evidenced by his "Peter Pan" mentality. He was a caring, thoughtful person who generated millions upon millions of dollars for charitable causes. He wanted to give kids the love & support that he never received as a child. Although I acknowledge that he went too far by allowing them to sleep in his bed, I truly believe that his intentions were not what the media would have us believe, and that the stress & shock of a world turning against him truly hurt him. He never seemed to recover fully from the initial backlash.

As a somewhat rational person, I can certainly admit that he continued to make mistakes later (dangling baby, future molestation accusations, etc) -- but I still do not believe that the man had a malicious bone in his body. I think that Michael truly cared for this world and wanted nothing more than to heal it...

So Michael, I say this to you: like millions of people before me (and hopefully after), I love you. I love your music, message, humility and creativity. I can only hope that in death, you are given the respect & love that you so lacked & desired in life. My only regret is that I was never able to see you live. I just knew the folks in England were in for a real treat next month.

R.I.P., Michael.

You will forever be missed -- but your music will never be forgotten.

Justin is just TOO damn funny!

I don't care how you feel about him as an artist or his deliciously hot girlfriend Jessica Biel, but you have to admit: Justin Timberlake is FANTASTIC on SNL. I swear he gets better every time... plus it didn't hurt that Ciara did a split and plenty of well-executed gyration during her musical performance!

So what happens when you breed J.T.'s innate comic timing with his obvious musical chops? Well, here's a great example:



And of course the classic:



Don't be shocked if he becomes a full-time cast member after such brilliance... seriously.

Once I stop myself from laughing, I'll go back to playing with my new PS3.

I Think I'm Addicted...

...to music.

This addiction of mine has grown with each passing day. In fact, I have procured no less than 5 albums in the last 10 days. From Ryan Leslie to Keri Hilson, I'm wallowing in new music right now. To be honest, I've been pleasantly surprised by most of it... the grand majority, in fact.

Ryan Leslie's album has a nice, chill vibe to it -- enough to help curb my road rages (believe it or not). I also appreciate the man's hustle and resolve. I'm going to give it a few more spins, but I'm sure it will earn a place in my current rotation.

Rick Ross is not generally my favorite artist, but his collaboration with John Legend ("Magnificent") lives up to it's name. I've only heard a few tracks of it so far, but I'll tell you this: he absolutely murders the intro in the best way possible. If any of the other songs are like that, I may have to eat my past words.

Keri Hilson's album is good uptempo music with a few slower, sexy songs thrown in for good measure. I could kill Akon for screaming all over his cameo, but I think it was a very solid debut effort. I certainly can't get "Knock You Down" out of my head for the life of me (Danja put himself on the map with that beat). Another fantastic track is "How Does It Feel?" -- because once you get past Timbo's initial interference, Keri delivers a catchy track that should find an audience with females that tend to date less-than-considerate men.

I haven't had a chance to listen to very many songs on Jadakiss' new album, but he's a very consistent guy and I refuse to believe that I will be anything less than pleased -- especially if "By My Side" is any indication. For good measure, there are 3 bonus tracks... and I like bonuses.

As bad as I have it for Keri (musically and otherwise), I have to admit that one album currently REFUSES stubbornly to dislodge itself from my CD player -- and in particular, the lead single doesn't seem to want to roll off my tongue into that gentle night...

So, ladies and gentlemen -- without further ado:

No Words Needed

Her stupidity says it all...

Ankle Insurance -- Get some!

Courtesy of Nike and Kobe Bryant... please enjoy:



For more ankle-breaking fun, check out the official site.

January 20, 2009

Today marks a moment that will forever be enshrined in the history books.

There are few people -- American or otherwise -- who will forget what has happened today. We have witnessed the beginning of a tremendous shift in the political landscape. We will be able to tell our children that we saw the first man of color elected as the President of the United States. Some of us were even able to take our children to Washington to personally view this momentous event.

As a native of Washington, DC, I have to say that I've never before been as proud to see throngs of "out-of-towners" flooding the city. There is nothing more incredible than seeing people of all colors come together to celebrate the arrival of one Barack Obama to his new home at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

President Obama: I wish you all the luck in the world. You have many difficult tasks ahead of you. You will bear the burden of restoring our nations' financial health, repairing a broken healthcare system, reforming immigration & safely returning our troops home. Should you fail, you'll be blamed (by those who oppose you) as if you created this disastrous scenario. Those who support you know that you seek only to reverse & undo the damage that has been done over the last 8 years.

We know that you seek to show the world that America can, has and will change. We know that you will call on us to do our part in making America an even stronger global powerhouse than it has ever been. We know that you seek to erase the boundaries of color that continue to divide the people of our nation. We know that you have our best interests in mind and that you seek to equip our children with the tools necessary to continue the fight to well into the future.

Good luck, sir... and may the force be with you.

Grey's Anatomy -- I hardly know ye

The following is an open letter to the writers, crew, producers and creator of one of my guilty pleasures, "Grey's Anatomy" (Thursdays, 9pm, ABC). If you watch the show but haven't seen the last 5 episodes or so, I suggest you turn away -- lest I spoil the latest goings-on at Seattle Grace.

Otherwise, sit back & enjoy... because you probably feel the same way I do.

************************************************************
Dear ABC:

I've enjoyed Grey's Anatomy for quite some time. Witty banter betwixt the surgeons, crazy surgeries and incurably high sex drives that have led to more "cross-pollination" than a flower farm. Some would find it all too over-the-top -- but not I. I've found it entertaining from the first time I laid eyes on those horndog interns & residents. I like everything about the show, really... except ONE of your current storylines.

Dead Denny.

I can't take it anymore. How many more conversations can Izzie have with him? How many more times will they hug & kiss? How many more orgasms will he give her? Does Izzie have some type of mental or emotional disorder that is causing her to have visions of her dearly departed lover? Why is he "haunting" her? Why won't he just go the fuck away & let her be happy with Alex?

Honestly, I don't even think that I care about the payoff at this point... I just want the madness to end. Before I smash my head on a window sill, gouge out my eyes with a butterknife and feed them to my dog.

I'm not quite certain who cooked this mess up, but the shenanigans must end. So, I beg you -- PLEASE end this nonsense NOW... for the sake of humanity itself depends on it. Who knows how many more episodes of this crap the average person could survive?

Or at the very least, it could be yet another reason for people to stop watching an otherwise delightful little show.

Think about it, y'all. Think about it.


Sincerely,

NYAM