Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The Bible Says...

A minister in Florida, apparently quite dismayed with the high divorce rates in our society, has issued a challenge to the married members of his congregation in the form of a 30-day challenge.

If you bothered to click the link above, you'll notice that the man actually paid for a billboard to advertise said challenge. For those too lazy to click the link above, an promotional video clip (allegedly) made by the church itself (Relevant Church) has been embedded below:

That's right. He's asking that all married people get down for 30 consecutive days. Why? He points to research which suggests that one can develop a consistent habit over such a period of time (Translation: If you and your wife get funky like K'NEX everyday, then maybe you can prevent your marriage from faltering in the first place -- since sex is allegedly one of the first things to go out the window). I suppose it's some sort of Pavlovian deal? Very interesting, nonetheless. I'm sure there were a lot of guys who have absolutely nothing to do with this church (or any church at all) that have been using it as an excuse to get some...

Wife: "Please, not today... I have such a bad headache!"
Man: "God commands you, woman -- now, get naked!"

I'm sure there are several more humorous variations of that conversation occurring as you read this. If the population in Ybor City, FL suddenly skyrockets, I think we all know who to blame.

Wanna know the best thing I found during my "research" for this blog-ette? This title of this MSNBC article... PRICELESS. That, in addition to the use of the term "hanky-panky" left me chuckling aloud. Ahh, the simple pleasures in life.

So, married people -- stop reading and go do as the good pastor says!


Erika 2004 said...

Great minds think alike. I just finished a post about this same topic. The flip side is the challenge for unmarried couples.

The Girl From Park Heights said...

Why are ministers so damned worried about other people's marriages anyway? Is it some reflection on him and the church if people divorce? Is that why he's posing this challenge?

I mean, what difference does it make him if people split up? Does it question the integrity of the bible and god? Is it rebelling against biblical law? Is it blasphamous to leave a situation where you aren't happy?

Oh yeah.......it is, isn't it? My bad!

Yeah, married people. In order to appease this particular minister, start having daily sex, no matter your situation in the hopes of staying together and maintaining the vows you made...in front of god.

If ya unhappy, fallen out of love, lack passion, respect, chemistry, someone's cheating, lying, stealing, having outside kids, looking stanky, sickly or hell, they just don't do it for ya anymore. Just screw 'em anyway.

Do it. In Jesus name. Amen!

Your Friendly Neighborhood Skeptic said...

I heard about this while listening to one of the atheist podcasts I listen to. I think the idea is kinda funny. To piggyback off GFPH if your man beats you, lies to you cheats on you, just fuck him on a consistent basis and everything will work itself out in the end.
Btw, where did this preacher get this idea? God? That means that God must know exactly how much sex this particular congregation is having. I KNEW IT! God likes to watch!

Not Your Average Male said...

[E2K4] Gotta love it... but darn it, I guess that means that we unwed heathens have to get on the ball :-(

[GFPH] They worry because they need to deflect attention from their own misdeeds? No? Just a theory... that works far too often.

[YFNS] The preacher probably got the idea while watching Nip/Tuck -- the season finale of which was one of the craziest endings I could've ever imagined. Just a theory, anyway.

Magic_Carpet1025 said...

Abe, this article illustrates what I have been saying for years, chasing money over sex is destructive to society. I remember weekends where I did not see the light of day. Now that I'm so concerned with money its hard to turn the lights off. I will use this article to persuade my gf to give me some for 30 days. I'll also tell her its for Lent.