Thursday, February 14, 2008

February 14th

I kinda hate Valentine's Day. By that, I mean I hate what it stands for today. Do I sound like a bitter man, tired of roaming the ranks of solitude? Probably... but the truth is I'm very much the opposite -- I really just don't like this day. It has become a day of self-loathing for single women and overdue, overdone celebration of love for those in relationships. I don't know about you, but relationships are like plants -- I believe that you must prune, feed and water them with relative consistency in order for them to flourish. Personally, I don't know too many couples that thrive on a once annual celebration of love (although a strong argument could be made for anniversaries -- oh wait... most men allegedly don't even remember it in the first place, do they? That's for another day...)

Having a hard time coping with the red & pink bonanza today? Here's my personal advice for surviving this whole wacky thing:

* Couples: Make every day V-day. Well, not literally -- you can't be expected to lavish him/her with luxurious gifts and gestures on a quotidian basis. What I mean is, show him/her every day in some way how you feel. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to perform on February 14th just because society tells you that it is the one day you should go all out. Why not do it on a random Thursday just because you feel like it? I'm the type to buy flowers while I'm out grocery shopping on a Saturday afternoon -- simply because the mood strikes me. It is uncouth to think that one can reserve all shows of affection for one of 365 days per year (not to mention that stubborn leap day). Good days and bad -- make an earnest effort to ensure that your significant other never has to wonder: "Does s/he still love me?" It's always hard to get back to a "good place" once it gets to that point... so if you truly care, don't let that happen.

* Singles: This one is especially for the single ladies out there... but PLEASE stop putting so much value in this day! I acknowledge that not ALL single women feel this way, but there is such a large populace of scorned, bitter women that reveal themselves once per year that it needed to be said. I understand that it's not always fun being single (debatable, but alas -- that's for another day), but why should you allow this one day to raise your distaste to the nth degree? Is it because Hallmark told you that you should be getting a card today? Is it because Godiva moves units like Eminem and Nelly circa 2001? Is it because every florist known to mankind hauls in 10x more receipts on this day than any other this year? Please... it's a joke. Single or not, you are who you are -- and as long as you aren't a bad person, then your time will come. Please don't sit around scarfing down Chunky Monkey or Rocky Road, watching "Sleepless in Seattle" with a box of Kleenex(TM) at your side. There are so many things about which to rejoice that it doesn't make sense to get all depressed on such an artificial day of celebration.

Well, that about wraps up my advice for this year. For those of you celebrating, please don't take this as reprimand or a suggestion that you scale it back. I'll admit that despite my better judgment, women love this day and I go along with it when necessary (which will be forever at this point). If you want to do any and everything to make your woman happy today, then by all means be my guest... I just hope that today isn't the only day you'll make an honest effort to show her how you feel about her.

Happy Make-All-The-Florists-Hallmark-Stores-And-Chocolatiers-Rich Day. May you take from it whatever you wish. Just don't go doing anything stupid like jumping off a bridge -- because I, for one, will most certainly NOT jump in after you.


Music Snob said...

As a women who DOES NOT love vday I completely co-sign on this entire post. Frankly, I think we all should be celebrating International Quirky Alone Day instead!

ps NYAM, I recently switched over to a private blog. If you would like access hit me up at If not, well suck! :op

Erika 2004 said...

Hey, Snob, I was wondering what happened to ya!!

Valentine's Day, never really been a fan. However, I'm not a fan of any seemingly obligatory type of holidays. If the only days of the year I get attention from my husband is my birthday, our anniversary or Valentine's Day, what does that say about our marriage on the other 362 days of the year? I was actually a bit pissed last year when my husband insisted on taking off work to spend time with me on my birthday. Can you believe that?

I absolutely agree that a relationship, any relationship for that matter, needs maintenance. Otherwise, you will look up one day and not recognize the person you are with.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Skeptic said...

I can't think of anything more worthless than Valentine's day. I guess since our capitalist infrastructure gives department, clothing, and electronics stores a huge boon during Christmas it's only fair to throw a bone to the florists, chocolatiers, and balloon makers on V-tines day.

People, relax, especially you Sour Patch Kids-bitter women who dress in black and mourn being single yet will be the first to sit around and wait for candy/teddy bears/balloons/cards when you're in a relationship. It's one stupid fuckin day of the year. Ease up, please.

Not Your Average Male said...

Thanks for the love, everybody... and I think I can speak for everyone when I say -- WE MISSED YOU, SNOB *sniffle*

Just like Christmas (but to a MUCH lesser extent), this day has been turned into a commercial cash cow. Unlike Christmas, however, I don't believe that this date has ever stood for anything good (St. Valentine's Day Massacre, anyone?)

I'm a good guy, so I'll keep playing along... just don't go thinking I like it. I may even take a few plays off like Randy Moss circa 2005.

Who am I kidding? My back isn't built for a couch everyday. I'll begrudgingly do what I have to for many years to come... but I'll buck the trend and insist on doing something more than once, twice or thrice per year.

Miz Motormouth said...

Everyone stressing about V-Day needs to take a giant Godiva chocolate covered chill pill!

The Girl From Park Heights said...

Dang, it saddens me that so many people hate V-day. I have always liked it dating or not (but then again its my birthday).

If I don't have someone special, I take that timet o do something special for my friends. Always been fun for me.

Not Your Average Male said...

[GFPH] Maybe it's just me, but Valentine's Day doesn't always represent this fun celebration of love that it is for women... often for me, it's a day when we have to figure out the most creative way to blow a quarter of a paycheck without boring the object of your affection.

So yeah, I don't always get excited. Maybe I'll try to flip the script once I get married.

Oh, who am I kidding -- I'll still harbor a little resentment. Unless my wife flips the script on ME and does the damn thing a few times. That'd be nice... in my dream world.